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Folkestone Magazine

Monday
May 12th
Home arrow Blog arrow Loved Ones Keep Us Warm!
Loved Ones Keep Us Warm! PDF Print E-mail
Written by Editor   
Friday, 11 January 2008
 Image

 The Telegraph reports that our loved ones will soon be keeping us warm when we go to their funerals.  Crematoriums intend using the recovered heat from cremated bodies to keep the buildings warm.  An initial experiment will be carried out at a crematorium in Manchester where it is believed sufficient energy will be generated by the departed to power the boiler and lights.

 The idea came about because several mourners complained that the crematoriums were cold and badly lit.  If the idea works it will be tried in other crematoriums though there is some concern that this is a sensitive issue and of course we will never know what the deceased might feel knowing they are keeping their loved ones warm.


 Dependant on the journey the deceased might take it could be worth employing a clairvoyant at the crematorium to see if those going down can negotiate a contract for what must be the greenest and most wasted energy ever written about.

   
   
   
   
   
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Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved.

Last Updated ( Friday, 11 January 2008 )
 
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Headline
Image Death In The Trees
 It appears the Telegraph has death on the mind or there is very little interesting news to report from around the world.  We do not need too much convincing that we are not only running out of space to build new homes we are also running out of space to bury the dead.

 
 The Victorians recognised this problem and began building crematoriums the most majestic of these I believe to be the North London Crematorium at Golders Green.  I say that because the majority of my ancestors from the past one-hundred years are scattered there as are some of the most famous British people.  The Victorians’ thought that it would be a little like a library or block of flats with row upon row of shelves and cubby holes were we could store our loved ones ashes.  Regrettably, they ran out of space.

A similar problem has occurred in churches and the graveyards have run out of space.  The Church has now agreed to woodland burials and have, in some areas, consecrated the ground for Christian burial.  This was a very urgent matter as many towns in England no longer had space to bury the dead.


 There has been some concern that the Church of England, having had difficulty managing and caring for graves near churches will find it even more difficult to care for woodland graves that may be some distance from a church.  The Church of England dismiss this though have made it know that there will be no gravestones only biodegradable wooden plaques; they have also suggested that a tree be planted with the body.

Tree and body planting would probably be more acceptable to many than heating and lighting the crematorium. Folkestone Magazine would like to take that a little further and suggest the burial be handled by the family and a tree chopped down and hollowed out and used as a coffin.  The bark, branches and chippings could be put to one side for Indian Funerals.  A woodland funeral could become a regular event for families bringing them back together. The celebrity chefs could show us how to prepare backed potatoes in their jackets, hot roast chestnuts and mulled wine for the winter and light smoked salmon salads using woodland herbs for the warmer days.

   
   
   
   
   
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